Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Washing Down the Moon

The moon is lopsided

I think someone dented it

I hope they have insurance


You can push with all your might

But you can only pull with your weight

If that is not enough, it is you who moves, not the object



Physics is a bitch



I don’t like sciences with equations that can be solved

Makes it harder to fake that you know what your talking about



The great mouth of the earth

Smiles and gnashes its mountainous teeth

We are all food



Flies do not hesitate

900 facets to look through

And no time to decide



Cows would eat us if they could

They think about it a lot

How much grass can you eat?



High fructose corn syrup

On the cob

Two hump caramel



The mind is a zoo for our memories

Sometimes we try to simulate their natural enviorment

But usually they sleep in empty cages



If I could live on the moon I would

But what would I wash it down with

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Things Other People Should Do

Someone should invent a reverse microwave.
No, not something that would unpop popcorn, that would be stupid.
I mean something that I could take a warm soda, put it in, push a button, and thirty seconds later have a cold soda.
Is that so much to ask of science.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Deep Hot Water

Struggle though I might

No matter how hard I kick
No matter how hard I fight

The surface is out of reach
And air tight

And the temperature’s starting to rise

Struggle though I do

I’m still going down deep
Deep down in the blue

Becoming a piece of
Meat in this stew

Swimming in the deep hot water

And it boils my blood

When I think about those
Who escaped this flood

Breathing the air
And stuck in the mud

Watching me come to a boil

It irks me

Jerks my chain to be
Stuck in this sea

Just who is this soup
That I’m in gonna feed

Swimming in the deep hot water

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A Bedwetters Prayer

As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my pee will keep
If I pee before I wake
I pray it will not form a lake

Monday, May 11, 2009

The Sugar Bear

The sugar bear has teeth rotten and sharp
His sticky nose twitches at the smell of fear
His ruined forest is broken and brown
Your bones will sleep beneath its leaves

Bees made honey
Bees made wax
Man made fire
Man made the ax
The sugar bear has a forest
And fire wood was made to burn

Goldilocks may skip and laugh
Draw herself a hot blood bath
Porridge hot or porridge cold
Goldilocks won’t grow too old

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

On Hygene

I got some soap that smells like vanilla. It's like washing with a cookie.
Then I picked up some shampoo that smells like apples. Now I'm clean but I'm hungry.
They should make soap that smells like fresh laundry, that way if you don't have anything clean to wear when you get out, no one will know.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A little birdy forgot to tell me.

Okay, I could actually use some help on this one. These are two watercolors I did about a month or so ago. They look to me like they may be illustrations for a childrens book, but I don't know how the story goes.
I get the feeling that this bird is looking for something, but I don't know what it is. If you know what this bird is seeking, and who else he can ask, please leave a comment or e-mail me. Then again he may not be seeking anything at all, maybe he is warning them of something. Anywho, I am open to all ideas as I have none.