Friday, December 21, 2007

things other people should do

Valentine heart candies (see post; bleading hearts) the pastel hard powder sugar kind, that say "It's not U. It's Me"

Birds got it Better

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Friday, October 26, 2007

Tiger and Elephant-A Good Scratch

Things Other People Should Do.

Someone in England should start an Anarchist Punk Group called Manchester Divided.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Tiger and Elephant-Sweet Freedom

Tiger and Elephant-Cheese Dimples

Articles of Reality

The Articles of Reality

I. Laws of reality.

1. Everything is impossible.

I know you have been taught that anything is possible, but that is a self-contradictory statement. If in fact anything is possible then something must be impossible, or it would be impossible to break the rule that anything is possible, and that’s impossible.
Now instead let us follow my law of everything is impossible. If everything is impossible then the law itself is impossible, which is impossible, so it all works out.

2. Just because something can’t happen doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

The problem here is that people have built a false causal relationship between possibility and probability, when in fact the two are not related in the least. Completely absurd ridiculously impossible things happen all the time. Perfectly sensible rational things hardly ever happen. And whether they happen or not has nothing to do with whether or not we think they can happen. Impossible is not a degree of improbable, because there is no degree to impossibility. Like infinite, or perfection, or dry, it is an absolute and therefore impossible to acheive. Which makes impossibility impossible, just like everything else.

3. The world is not run by logic, it is run by desire.

It is the combined wants and lusts of the living things in an enviorment that direct the evolution of all species within that enviorment, and the changes over time to the enviorment itself. As a result of this a person using strictly reason to guide themself through life is lost. While logic, reason, and the scientific meathod are fine tools to solve physical problems, when dealing with living matter they are often useless.
When dealing with an animal of any sort, logic and reason may be helpful in a general sense, but keep a revolver handy.

4. You can’t always get what you want, and that is a good thing.

Most of what you want is bad for you, but often the struggle to get what you want can be to your benifit. We get exersize reaching for that which would clog our heart were that it was within our grasp. We look good for people we should not sleep with. Our economy is propelled by people trying to be decadent. Lust and avarice are good for the economy. I am less convinced however, that the economy is good for us.

5. As a species population rises, artificial divitions within the species will become more pronounced.

This is not only true of humans but of all species. Lions will be less inclined to leave their pride, ants will go to war. And animals that are not social will mark their territories more. Just as humans become more white and more black, or more Christian muslim and jew. Or become a real patriot, God bless the red white and blue.

6. The world will not come to an end, but you will.

It is the arrogance of man that allows us to think we can end life on earth. We cannot even kill all of our own species. We can however make the world a very uncomfortable place. Even this ruining of the enjoyment of life on earth is not caused by our aggression, but by our tenderness. We just love making babies, and babies are the greatest threat to the enviorment. You can bring down CO2 emissions by a third, but if the population doubles how much good will that do?
The black plague hit Europe and desimated the population, and a century later there were twice as many people as before the first sneeze. In World War II tens of millions died, a decade later the population had doubled. We will never kill as fast as we procreate. I could sure go for some soilent green about now.

It is important to remember that these laws are not the only laws, and that all laws can be broken.

II. The Law in Motion.

1. When dealing with the Physical world, understand that you are both powerful and helpless.

Here I must make a separation between the Physical world and the Real world. It is easy to believe that what we experience the Physical world around us, that what we can see, taste, touch, hear, and smell, is the Physical world, but it is not. All five of our senses are produced by chemicals and electricity in our brain. Our senses are our interpretation of the physical world and while that is Real, in that our senses make up our reality, it is an incomplete picture of the Physical world in which we live.
Therefore we can never truly know the physical world although we are immersed in it. We can affect the Physical world, but our control over this manipulation is tenous, because of chaos. Also, not only can we not predict all of the factors that may way on the outcome of our actions, we cannot even predict all of our actions. We will do things without thinking, and we often have agendas in our unconscious that we are unaware of.
A person standing in the face of these uncertainties cannot simply throw up their arms and invent some tool of denial like fate. While it is true that you are to a large extent not in control of your part in this world, you are completely responsible for your part. You will suffer the consequences of your actions as will every other thing on earth. Everytime you talk you knock a butterfly on the otherside of the world off course by an amount that it can’t even feel.

2. Not everything is about you, even though it will all affect you.

The ego has a tendency to put motives to the operations of the Physical world. This is because of our failure to understand that there is no such thing as an isolated event. We think things happen because of actions, when in truth reality is an avalanche of reaction.
Before attempting to guide your way through my system for steering this avalance, let me first describe the three common types of actions made by living things. There is that which we are most familiar with, although it is rearest, that is the conscious act. In the conscious act we believe that we decide to do something, i.e. move our arm, and low and behold our arm moves. I say that this is the rarest of actions because how often do you think about your arm in the course of the day? Not that often, I’d bet. But your arms are moving almost all the time, and the funny thing is, most of that movement is caused by them just trying to get comfortable. Like the water and the wind, most things just want to find level, but that keeps them in constant motion.
Next is the unconscious act. Many times living things have a general purpose in mind. A herd may want to go north, and angry mob may want to attack an oppressor, things like that. The herd doesn’t think of every step they take, nor does the mob think about every rock they throw. We give our unconscious the general idea of what we want to do, and the spine takes over. This is the most common type of actions taken by living things, if you consider that breathing and circulating blood are actions taken for the general goal of staying alive.
Finally there are third party actions. This is action taken without conscious or unconsous control, as in being thrown in a wave, or bumped in a crowd, or struck by cancer. This is often the world putting you in your place. Make no mistake, if you try to climb a ladder, the world will shake it. We are all of us tested, all of the time.

3. Actions are driven by desires. Desires are driven by knowledge.

We can only desire two kinds of things; those things we know about, and those things we do not know about. This may sound like stating the obvious, but the way in which we pursue these two types of things is remarkably different. Our pursuit of that which we know is very straight forward, the earning of money, the clubbing of someone who owns the item over the head, ect. But the pursuit of that which we do not know is the pursuit of knowledge itself, and in this way our desires better us, depending on the quality of the knowledge we seek. We may for example wish to make a fuel that is abundant, clean and efficient. We may want to know what an amputee looks like when they have sex. How much or how little we better the world depends upon what we lust. The best way to get the economy to benefit the ecology is to get people to want things that help the enviorment. The problem with this is that there is no profit in clean air and sunshine. But someday, when you are charged for your air by the breath, they will fix that.

4. Life is the hardest thing you will ever do depending on how you die.

I know I talk about death a lot, to tell the truth I’m a big fan of death. Death is one of the main ingredients in almost everything I eat. Death keeps housing costs down and opens up job opportunities. Yet death, for all its benefits, should be kept at a distance.
I was on the bus once when a spry old man hopped up on board. As he was walking down the aisle another man recognized the old man. He said to the man in the seat next to him, “this guy here, you’ll never geuss how old he is. 93 years old, you believe that.”
“God bless you.” Said the second man, “And you look so healthy, what’s the secret? How do you get to live so long?”
And the old man said, “Don’t die.”

If you think of life as a carnival ride you will eventual either eat too many hotdogs and throw up, or run out of tickets. And in either case there is going to be a lot of standing in line in between the short bursts fun.
Better to think of life as a job that you don’t really hate, and decorate your cubicle to keep yourself happy.

III. The Bill of Rights to What is Left.

1. You do not have the right to remain silent, no matter how hard you
try. Nor do you have the right to invisibility. You will be seen and heard, although this doesn’t mean you will be looked at or listened to.
The more you pay attention to other living things the more they will pay attention to you. If you are critical of them, they will return criticism to you. If you praise them, they will expect more.

2. You have the right to a fair amount of denial. If you cannot affored an
excuse, blame will be assiagned to you by your peers.

3. You have the right to speedy judgement, even prejudgement, but you
do not have the right to not be judged.

4. You have the right to be wrong, and to stand by your errors in fact and judgment and deny any reasonable doubt.

5. You have the right bear arms, or any other body part, but to do so invites criticism.

I am sorry that you do not have ten rights as you did with the start of the United States constitution, but it only takes five digits to make a fist. And the only right you really have is the right to fight for the rights you think you have.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Monday, October 8, 2007

On Steroids

I don't think steroids should be banned in the Olympics. I want to see someone jump twenty feet in the air. I don't care if they are half robot.
I want to see hockey players with their legs intentionally removed and replaced with four pronged appendages with blades on the bottom. Mixed with the tusks they are genetically altered to have growing from their elbows, that is a team that will finally beat the hungry hi breed hippos.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Double Negative

Two Quotes I Love to Put Together

"A life that is not spent in the service of mankind is a life that is wasted."
-Albert Einstein-

"How to serve mankind...It's a COOKBOOK!"
-Rod Serling-

Thursday, September 27, 2007

On Holidays

Christians have the best holidays.
Kill their god, do they cry?
Do they weep?
No, they hunt for eggs and get sick on chocolate.

Jews seem to like atonement as a party theme.
Even at Passover, let’s celebrate; God in his infinite wisdom didn’t snuff our sorry ass out. But first how about some unsalted five year old cracker and some horseradish and a little manachevettes to wash it down.

All Muslim holidays are based on a diet plan.

I like secular holidays, like Arbor Day.
Some day because of political correctness
Children won’t be able to celebrate Arbor Day,
Because it is unfair to bushes.

The Tail of the Golden Princess Part1

Easter Bunny Island