I am the Evil Elvis

I am the Evil Elvis

I ride into town on a dark horse searching for underage poontang. I hotwire a Chevy, and drive the behaved waitress from the diner out to the desert, to screw on reds and bourbon. My attitude is my youth. My life’s blood is the youth of my devoted followers. I will take your children and fly to hell on a jet with tinted windows, and Satan himself will call me Mr. Presley sir and hold his sulpher breath until they announce that I have left the building.

I am the Evil Elvis

I corrupted your parents, and every chore they make you do is penance for their love of me. I am the nail in the feet of Christ. All the cardinals turned queer for me, for my swinging dick, for my pelvis pumping ass. Anoint in my sweaty towel. Christen in my hair tonic. Baptize in my unholy tequila drenched vomit. Become one with the rhinestone heart of the new hipper Christ. Become reborn in the blue suede eyes of the great pop icon God.

I am the Evil Elvis

I joined the army and the communists did tremble. I made even Marilyn swoon. I became a blackbelt in just one day, because I’m just that much of a bad ass. I destroyed the great society. I cooked and ate my teddy bear. I turned the music of the black man’s soul into hooting redneck anthems. Even as I died I shit out one last loaf on humanity and was risen by its’ stench.

I am the king,
The king is dead,
Long live the Fat Dead Evil Elvis.